That Love Awaits...

Saturday, January 24, 2009

6:04 AM

Today was AWESOME! Thank you so much girls (:

The surprises were just one after another today. I was truly gullible enough to think that two of the most important people in my life were gonna miss it. I have to say that you really got me. I almost cried out of sheer joy. Will update more soon. For now, I shall enjoy the last few moments of being eighteen.

my handsome newly commisioned lieutenant (:

Friday, January 23, 2009

6:46 AM

Less than 48 hours till I turn nineteen, yet I feel completely desolate. Despite the fact that my girlfriends took so much time to plan a surprise and despite the fact that my sweetheart has already passed out as a commisioned officer. Perhaps it's one of those days where all I want to do is climb under the covers and cry my heart out. Sighs.

On a happier note, there's going to be a wedding in my family this year. Normally weddings are expected to be received with joy and excitement but it's been totally opposite for some of the family members, namely my parents who are so narrow-minded. Their brainwashing isn't going to work on me because I have already decided to support my darling abang and future kakak to the best of my ability.

To be honest, I don't really feel the need to celebrate my birthday. Simply because birthday celebrations are supposed to be joyous and that is the complete opposite of what I'm feeling right now. I thought the joy of watching a loved one pass out as a lieutenant would last but sadly all I'm feeling right now is misery. Sighs. Hopefully tomorrow would be a brighter day. I'm sure my girlfriends would cheer me up.

Hold on to me, love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was
I love you and I'm not afraid

Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light, it ends tonight...

Labels: my last breath

Friday, January 16, 2009

7:03 PM

So it's been two weeks since I last updated. LOL. Well all I can say is that I've been busy. First was the picnic with my darlings. All those dares and crazy girls. I love them (:

Let the pictures tell you more.

<3

Next was my trip to HongKong. It was basically a R&R trip. The wind was really strong and the weather was extremely freezing on the two mornings that I played golf with my parents. And I strongly disagree with anyone who says that golf is for rich people. I see people from all walks of life playing. Beauticians, hairdressers, businessmen, retirees, young adults who just started working. The game of golf requires social skill as well and you meet new contacts everyday. LOL. That's one of the things I've recently discovered.

When I got back, it was time for work. Serious work. 8.30am-5.30pm five days a week as an accountant/auditor at my dad's office. The workload was initially light for the first two days so that I could get used to the environment and better understand what my job was. After that...

Anyway, my dearest is passing out this week. I am so proud of him (:
We went to dinner at hard rock last night with J and Irah. He cleaned up real nice. I'll upload the photos and those from my australia trip soon (:

Friday, January 2, 2009

7:30 AM

Second day of the new year and and my parents are still not talking to me. Sighs. On the bright side, two of my darlings came over to cheer me up. Thank you so much dearies, you really put a smile on my face. HUGS.

As for all those who are planning to celebrate my bday with me, I really appreciate you guys doing it for me. I really don't know what I'd do without you girls... True friends are really hard to find so treasure them as much as you can. I'd like to f=dedicate this to my girlfriends (:

Friendship is a priceless gift that cannot be bought or sold.
But its value if far greater than a mountain made of gold.
For gold is cold and lifeless, it can neither see nor hear and in the time of trouble it is powerless to cheer.It has no ears to listen, nor heart to understand, it cannot bring you comfort or reach a helping hand.
So when you ask God for a gift, be thankful he sends not diamonds, pearls or riches,

But the love of real true friends.

<3

my wishlist:
-ipod classic
-shades
-mascara
-eyeliner
-dress
-hoodie
-anything else given out of love (:

Labels: windmill with pretty colours

Thursday, January 1, 2009

1:07 PM

The end of 2008 was marked by the biggest fight I have ever had with my father. The beginning of 2009 was a lockdown by my parents and the targeting of my sister. So please forgive me if I'm not actively participating in the festivities of the new year.

I can be certain of one thing for this year, that is my family is falling apart. Perhaps I was a little preoccupied in the year of 2008 when I was studying for my As but things have become crystal clear since then. Especially when I travelled to Australia.

My father has hurt us long enough and now, I will not stand watching from the sidelines any longer. I will do what it takes to stop him and ensure that my siblings never have to go through the pain and suffering I have.

Money and power is the problem. To be honest I'd trade all the money I have for the love, acceptance and encouragement that I have never received from my father. My mother has been brainwashed as well. To my dad, I am a worthless person, who doesn't know a thing about the world, a lost cause. He told me if I wanted to go out to work, I would no longer be welcome in the house. Well, who knows, I might just do that.

Over the years, the insults have just been piling up so high that I think I would hear a single praise. Everything I do is wrong in his eyes. To him, I'm just an ungrateful and disrespectful bitch. I doubt my heartbreak could ever be healed.

Anyway, I shouldnt be spoiling the mood for all those out there who are truly enjoying their new year. Treasure your families and what you have. I should be grateful for having an aunt who cares a lot for me and for all my darling girlfriends who are always there for me. Thank you babes.

And to Nazry, who's been holding me up all this while, I don't know how to show you how much I appreciate it. I doubt I would have made it this far without your support and loving words. Thank you so much.

Happy New Year everyone! All the best for the coming new year! <3

Labels: the howling wind